ashley ward, alyssa diefenthaler, wendy orozco & duncan hooper

we found the questions about our ancestry and migration the most difficult to answer. questions about our immediate family and our family cultures and worldviews were a lot easier to answer. something some of us found in common was the importance of religion in our families. others of us did not grow up in a religious background, and we agreed on that whether or not religion was a major part of our lives or not at all, our families functioned well and were normal. we all agreed that each of our families really valued family and treated family as priority. as far as pride and shame, things that were common sources of pride were good jobs, strong work ethic, and loyalty.

two more days...

so i am down to two more days here. i'm feeling that weird thing i always feel when i'm about to leave my family again... it's kind of a sick feeling, mixed with a frequent lump in my throat, a sinking feeling, kind of like i'm on the verge of tears most of the time. it's not a fun feeling. i am trying to check of the final items on my "i want to do this before i leave" list. tomorrow is the cris & wendy extravaganza... we're getting pedicures, going to dinner and a movie i think, and i'm not sure what else. 

i am actually mostly packed. my suitcase is already really full, and i still have to fit some more things like conditioner, lotions, hair stuff, etc. in there. we'll see how that goes. i wanted to get it mostly done so i wouldn't have to be doing it at the last minute on tuesday night. speaking of tuesday night, i am trying to decide if i should even try to sleep. i have to like... leave for the airport at like 5:30, so get up at 4:45 probably... is it worth the few hours of sleep? i doubt i'll even be able to sleep. but having to go to school the next day... bleh! i might take a sleeping pill at like 5 PM... haha. we'll see. it's time for me to go to bed now, though.

sensing a trend

ay, ay, ay. this past year, because of my job (cook), i have become obsessed with cookbooks and recipes. i have quite a collection of both. once i get back to the states, i will have to count my cookbooks, because i forget now. i have a stuffed-full recipe box and have begun my second one, and have quite a few already. ah, and i also became quite obsessed with kitchen stuff. mmm... measuring spoons, colanders, spatulas... sigh.

now, because i am soon moving into my first apartment, i am obsessed with house stuff! ridiculous. i love looking at like... dish sets, furniture, storage containers, etc. 

my new obsession: www.younghouselove.com

today (well, technically yesterday), ana, cris, sam and i went to sampson's and i had a frozen coffee... that was at like 5ish, and i'm STILL awake. let's just say, i'm tired of falling asleep at 6 am and waking up at 1 PM or later. g-ross. i can't really get myself out of the habit though. i was doing better, and now i think i killed it again because of that dang coffee. dang gina.

only one week left...

i leave a week from today, and i am not looking forward to it at all. i get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when i think about it. first of all, i know how hard it is to say goodbye to my family, and to leave them yet AGAIN, and i am not looking forward to it at all. second of all, i am freaked out of my mind about the unknowns in my future. that's another thing that makes me feel sick. i am so scared that i won't be able to find a job, and that i won't be able to pay for school, or for rent, and basically that i will fail miserably at being a responsible adult. 

i know that i can trust God, but so often i just worry. i tend to forget the many times He has proved himself so faithful... the times that He has proved to me that His plans for me are GOOD, better than i could ever dream up. when has He let me down? never. He has ALWAYS provided. Jesus, forgive me for not trusting you. i think i feel like because i haven't been talking to you much lately, because i have been screwing up, because i feel like i'm so far away, that You will punish me by letting me go, by letting me fall. but You say, "never will i leave you, never will i forsake you." 

No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
  and no mind has imagined
  what God has prepared
  for those who love him.

tina (yeah, tina from morocco) just randomly sent me that message on skype. she's never sent me anything on skype. i think i needed to hear that. God has GOOD THINGS prepared for me. i can trust Him. He won't let me down. i will look back on this, like i've looked back before, and say, "why was i so worried? if i knew then what i know now, i wouldn't have worried." and i will tell myself that i was being silly, and not to do that again. so that's what i'm trying to do. not worry, and trust God.

so... new blog. i am going to have to admit that the whole reason i got a blog is because i found a website with really cute layouts, so i caved. this is a test to see what a new post looks like.